I’m sharing this here, in the very early stages, because I want to invite people who might find it interesting and of benefit. I don’t want it to just become another YouTube with the usual suspects with the same old same old conversations. What would be the point? That already exists. In fact I’m not even sure I’ll make a video about it. I’ll see how I feel on that. What I’m trying to do here is to create an opportunity for a different form of communication, and one that I’ve found to be very beneficial in the past. We so easily lose sight of what we had in favour of so called improvements. While some of them may be, in that gain is almost invariably some loss or other.
The video site shows this up very clearly. While in some respects it offers us far greater opportunity for expression and creation, it also limits our exchanges, creates a heirarchy, and makes direct communication very limited. It also appears to be somehow (Intentionally? Not sure) geared towards conflict, which doesn’t seem all that helpful to me.
As things stand right now this forum is a bit messy, needs refining, and has little content. However, it would be of value to have a few trusted people there to try things out, offer thoughts and suggestions, if you’re so inclined, before I invite more people. However, please don’t go just to please me, or to be dutiful in some way. That is the very antithesis of what the place is all about.
I’ve always loved to dance. It’s quite curious in a way, the things we find ourselves threaded through with. I was very shy as a child, still am in many ways. Am confidently shy these days. I did not want to be visible, which curiously I’ve always seemed to find myself to be. So either you learn to hide in a hole or handle it. I do a combination of the two. lol Dancing was one of those barriers I broke through. I was sent to the Royal Ballet when I was about 5. It’s not as grand as it sounds. There were lots of real ballerinas running about and the atmosphere was just as you might imagine, but we were just the littleys. My memories of it are as much about the awful struggle it can be to get your tights on, especially when you’ve done it wrong in the first place, as the dancing, though it’s all very vivid. While I was far from the best, partly because of my left handedness which has me doing most things back to front, and my very long legs in which I can easily become entangled, it seems to have enabled me to feel an unselfconsiousness in dance it took me an awful lot longer to find in anything else.
It’s been a while since I danced, though I’ve done it a lot over the years, and taken classes in various styles. Part of that has been the moves and the temporary brokenness of my body, part because where I used to live there was nothing of merit. So now having tried two belly dancing classes, and finding one of them to be pretty close to what I want, I can remember and be connected with that wonderful feeling you get when moving in such a way. There’s a whole lot I may say later about my observations and feelings about it all, but for now I just want to note how good it feels to be residing in my body in that way again.
I used to dance when alone. Dancing has been one place where I can entirely lose myself whilst also expressing myself. It has been a catharsis, a point of stillness and a connection to myself and that which lies beyond. It is one of the places I am most myself.
Funny how things change, the shifts we need to make, sometimes at the most unusual or unexpected of times. I’m putting the post I linked to here now. I’m doing what I was going to do there, here. Realistically there’s no apparent difference, other than the notion of a gesture and the liberation from obligation or expectation in any direction.
Online the lines are blurred, the places we are and aren’t visible to one another, the ways in which we can observe one another so very different, complex, unwittingly inviting intrusion. Here we live in transparent houses. The dividing lines are so ephemeral they don’t really exist. Here we get to see more realistically how close we truly are even though that may have no geographical correlation. Discover where we can touch and where we burn. We place our metaphorical jewels in the hands of the unknown, whether that be a faceless corporation, a real friend or a booby trapped foe. We may place the very heart of our virtual being in someones hands knowing they may crush it at will. Trust is a different thing here. It is osmosis, semipermeable layers. Edges are often invisible until crossed, our own hard to discern or even not where we thought they were.
A small addition, a person of quality, quoting me at me earlier today. Thank you Mary.
“Having accepted that everything is a gift, however it might appear, Misha found life taking on a new meaning.”—- Return to One,p 120
I was given a web address and site for Christmas. Right now I’ve just taken the cellophane off and have moved a few things around so I’ve barely begun. It’s been set up for me in WordPress which is one I’m not all that familiar with, but no doubt I’ll get better at. I may well move over there from here, though that’s not guaranteed. But I thought I’d leave a link to it here anyway: http://cathypreston.com/?page_id=660 Thank you for your efforts, gift giver.