It has been the strangest of times, a saying goodbye and a rememberance of more than 20 years. Some of it was just plain hard work (quite a lot of it) alongside moments of the type of scene you see in movies, echoes of ghostly childish laughter in a sepia scene. Numerous memories played out in layers over echoing rooms once filled with a sense of warmth and safety, but also hardships and struggles. Life, but in retrospect. A closing of gaps and a coming together, a collapsing into the present that which had been left trailing out behind.
Curiosities. Of remembering what it felt lke to be ‘home’. The people, in all their idiosyncracies, how I know them all, up to a point, we are all comfortable as who we are together. Known. I sort of slipped back into it so I could leave and everyone knew. There were many farewells. Small closenesses and acknowledgments of shared history, but also the usual elements of absurdity, idiosyncratic moments that leave you scratching your head or with a wry grin. I remembered how I truly was part of a community. I could tell stories of those last encounters, perhaps I will. I would like to do it for myself anyway, while it’s fresh and the impact memorable. Tomorrow maybe.
A part of me will always be there, like one of those shadowy figures, ripples in the pond.
It was a full Moon the night before I left. When I got up this morning before leaving this was what greeted me.