It seems to have been nearly a lifetime since I last wrote here, albeit a fairly short one. I’m not sure why, nor that I have anything especially mindblowing to share even now (even now even now, echoing off into the mirrored mind of infinity). I still make videos at YouTube, despite the fact I’m jaded with it all and weary of the policies they have there which now only encourage income creating content. I suggested to them this morning that they might like to consider another form of member/channel, that of the channel owner paying a monthly or yearly fee, which I’d be happy to do. Any other way seems to be something of a sell out to me. I’m a partner but never monetize because not only does it seem an insult to anyone who might want to watch what I create to force feed them crappy adverts, but also because one then becomes number oriented, concerned content pleases the advertiser rather than oneself or ones subscribers, and popularity largely based on the fact you’re making money for big business which I have no time for anyway. And as I continue to refuse them and the sundry other companies who email me with all sorts of promises if I let them represent me there I watch my viewing figures dropping proportionately. Not that I care how many people watch, I never have. I’ve always reckoned if anyone needed to see what I do they would, but I do find it offensive that those who are subscribed to me now only intermittently get to see what I do, and vice versa. But if it bothered me that much I guess I’d probably stop bothering making videos at all, and I still seem to quite enjoy doing that, once in a while.
On another note (this appears to be some sort of random catch up) I’ve finally finished the most ambitious painting I’ve ever done. 9 piece and movable around. Someone who is making me a frame for this (all being well) is coming round shortly so we can work that out, at which point I’ll probably show it (once it’s made). I’ve really enjoyed the process of that, as I generally do when painting. I often lose myself in it all, or find me, or become it, or am in love with it, and there is almost invariably a sense of loss when it’s done, a kind of grief at the end of a brief love affair. With this one having taken quite a number of weeks it’s probably more of a shock to the system. Even when I have another idea lined up it’s the same.
This quote was shared with me the other day, and seems very apt:
“When you start working, everybody is in your studio- the past, your friends, enemies, the art world, and above all, your own ideas- all are there. But as you continue painting, they start leaving, one by one, and you are left completely alone. Then, if you are lucky, even you leave.”
― John Cage
Well he’s just been, and as I knew was perfect for the job. He’s come up with some ideas which make it easier to manipulate and which won’t spoil the look of the thing. 🙂