Another lifetime

It seems to have been nearly a lifetime since I last wrote here, albeit a fairly short one. I’m not sure why, nor that I have anything especially mindblowing to share even now (even now even now, echoing off into the mirrored mind of infinity). I still make videos at YouTube, despite the fact I’m jaded with it all and weary of the policies they have there which now only encourage income creating content. I suggested to them this morning that they might like to consider another form of member/channel, that of the channel owner paying a monthly or yearly fee, which I’d be happy to do. Any other way seems to be something of a sell out to me. I’m a partner but never monetize because not only does it seem an insult to anyone who might want to watch what I create to force feed them crappy adverts, but also because one then becomes number oriented, concerned content pleases the advertiser rather than oneself or ones subscribers, and popularity largely based on the fact you’re making money for big business which I have no time for anyway. And as I continue to refuse them and the sundry other companies who email me with all sorts of promises if I let them represent me there I watch my viewing figures dropping proportionately. Not that I care how many people watch, I never have. I’ve always reckoned if anyone needed to see what I do they would, but I do find it offensive that those who are subscribed to me now only intermittently get to see what I do, and vice versa. But if it bothered me that much I guess I’d probably stop bothering making videos at all, and I still seem to quite enjoy doing that, once in a while.

On another note (this appears to be some sort of random catch up) I’ve finally finished the most ambitious painting I’ve ever done. 9 piece and movable around. Someone who is making me a frame for this (all being well) is coming round shortly so we can work that out, at which point I’ll probably show it (once it’s made). I’ve really enjoyed the process of that, as I generally do when painting. I often lose myself in it all, or find me, or become it, or am in love with it, and there is almost invariably a sense of loss when it’s done, a kind of grief at the end of a brief love affair. With this one having taken quite a number of weeks it’s probably more of a shock to the system. Even when I have another idea lined up it’s the same.

This quote was shared with me the other day, and seems very apt:

“When you start working, everybody is in your studio- the past, your friends, enemies, the art world, and above all, your own ideas- all are there. But as you continue painting, they start leaving, one by one, and you are left completely alone. Then, if you are lucky, even you leave.”
― John Cage

Well he’s just been, and as I knew was perfect for the job. He’s come up with some ideas which make it easier to manipulate and which won’t spoil the look of the thing. 🙂



6 thoughts on “Another lifetime

  1. Lovelisome *feel* of continuity about your entry herenow 😉

    For me the John Cage quote kinda rounds off a lifetime here in the great Earth studio. Ugliness is all to often depicted upon a tattered canvas that is just as often a result of Mankind’s abrasive blinkered approach to his infinite medium. But ugliness also bears its beauty and, as an ‘artist’, there’s the challenge of dying for it.
    How much pain must our brother or sister suffer before we help them leave? I am not sure. When, why and how did the leaving start. Wyrd is the Indra’s web and we’ve to ride Wyrd. Eight legs hath the Artist and a spinneret, Fangs for the memory! 😉

    I look forward to your art-full presentation 🙂

    • That’s good to know Ed 🙂

      I agree re life, and also ugliness. There can be an intense beauty in ugliness which seems to escape the notice of many but that I’m often drawn to in the work of others. That edge between between, the bleeding edge so to speak, is an opening to that infinite canvas not many dare to tread. I must say though that this (these) painting doesn’t fall into that category. More questioning than dark, though darkness there is aplenty, if you consider that the unknown, or even the absence of light.

      People leaving and when they should be helped is rather less complex than society seems to imagine I think. When you need to go you need to go, and that should be accepted, respected and enabled imo. The role of the health care professional is to decrease suffering, surely.

  2. Lol, I don’t even have a clue what “monetization” is though I’ve seen that ugly word on my screen.

    Please don’t get put off.

    I love your animistic blue painting. Slight puzzlement at the ‘alien’ head – is s/he the Unknown Other?

    Online hugs 🙂

    • Thanks for the encouragement. I’m continuing to process it. When I first went there I didn’t care how many people watched or commented, it was the process that mattered, the creativity, the expression. Time to return to that perhaps.

      Glad you like the painting. The alien head can mean many things. Sure, ‘the other’ in terms of the alien personas and philosophies of those we see as separate and incomprehensible, but also that which is generally beyond our ken or vision, and some of the conspiracy theorists notions. Plus whatever it might mean to you.

      Do I know you by another name?

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